Can't Sleep Because...

It's 5:31 AM right now and I can NOT sleep.

This Summer, I have come to realize that I want to pursue my music. It started some years ago when I was 12 years old. I was up late watching "Poetic Justice" on the television, and from then I started my poetry, which developed into me rapping. I can't really explain the feeling. Music excites me. No matter how much I'm suppose to be doing something else like actual work that has a deadline, I can't help but write and listen to music. Even watching interviews of young artists on their grind inspires me. I do that all day long on Youtube, and it just inspires me. Because, I want to do the same thing.

Even though I will be returning back to school for my Junior year as a PRE-MED student, I still feel that this music has priority. Well at least in my heart. Does my mother know? NO. Some years back I did go about saying I wanted to be a rapper but, that dream died or hibernated. And now, it's back. No matter how hard I try to suppress the feeling. No matter how much I hear about my chances. No matter what, the feeling is STILL and has ALWAYS been there.

So, I just keep posting videos on Youtube as much as I can. Hoping to record something one day. Hopefully, by the end of this year, I can go in and treat myself to an actual recorded song. I have the material, I just need to go ahead and record it. My whole deal is that I want to be another FEMALE face in the game. Another LYRICAL force. Because, for the ones with two x-chromosomes, who do we have repping us now? Nicki Minaj is our face right now. We need a stronger presence.

I gotta make it. I gotta make an effort. Because if I don't even make an effort to at least try to be heard---that will be the biggest regret of my life EVER. I'm sure.

So, after this post. Expect my Youtube videos to be on here. I was hiding it at first. But, eff it, this is MY blog. No more holding back.

Oh, and if you are out there working towards a dream. NEVER let anyone hold you down. But, most importantly NEVER let yourself hold you down.

#offmychest